(co-written with Reina Tamayo)
“You’re too nice”
That’s what everyone tells me.
I’m still not quite sure if I should take it as a compliment
Or a direct insult to me
I thought long and hard about it and well,
What if they’re right?
What if I AM too nice?
Yes, I always share my food
— Even when my stomach’s grumbling!
And yes, I just have to greet everyone
— Even when I’m sleepwalking!
Well, no, I can’t hold a grudge
— Even against a boy who turned me down for prom
And maybe I just don’t like talking back
— Cause well, I know where the person’s coming from.
“You’re too nice,”
says my friends frowning with worry for me
for who can really stomach
The thoughts, the actions they direct towards me
“Why do you do it?”
“What’s the great reward?”
“What’s in it for you?”
“Is it for some sort of award?”
Their questions make me often angry
But… then again, they leave me nothing but thoughts I now carry.
Nowadays, I look at myself in the mirror
And ask myself the same questions.
Why do I always get the hurt?
Why do I always get the blame?
Why can’t I let the other person get the hurt?
Why can’t I give THEM the blame?
I look up and I, I remember.
I see myself in them.
I could see a person, a little girl,
Who has high expectations from her parents,
Who thinks everyone hates her,
Who is teased by her classmates,
Who secretly treats herself like dirt
In every person I talk to,
In every person I look at.
For who am I to do worse to other people
Who are in essence just the same as me
We’re all porcelain souls- fragile, shaky
One push — and we break easily
I’ve seen the scars that lined their wrists
The bruises they’ve hidden under their shirt
Fragments of their soul crumbled to bits
Events that make them ask: ‘what really is my worth?’
So yes, I’d willingly take the label of being too kind
Rather than hurt someone who’s already hurt
Or be another person to them who is unkind
Because I know how it feels,
I know how it hurts.
So the next time anyone tells me,
“You’re too nice.”
I won’t mind at all.