Those Senior Jitters

College application forms. Entrance tests. 2×2 pictures. Graduation.

 

School hasn’t even started yet for Batch 2014 but everyone’s already getting anxiety attacks with all the college talk. It feels as if it was only yesterday that we were getting nervous to become highschool freshmen. Now, we’re the seniors. Now, we’re the old ones.

 

As an incoming senior myself, I’ve been having these so-called senior jitters ever since summer started. It’s like a huge wake up call reminding me that I’m at a crucial crossroad in my life where the choices I’ll make will affect my life immensely. I admit, there are times when I would just stare into the darkness and think about all this. Everyday, I ask myself if I’m ready for this and it hit me: I’m not.

 

I’m not ready for senior year. I’m not ready for college.

 

Not ready to be alone, that is.

 

I guess that what really scares us kids is that notion that we’ll be alone in our choices. After reflecting more about it, I realized that we think this because we’re after that sense of total independence but when it comes to scary times, we have too much pride to admit that we need help. As one priest said in his homily, “This generation has the ‘I’ disorder.” It’s always about “me, myself and I.” We forget about everyone else because we are so cooped up in our own worlds. I noticed how our college goals is to get in a certain school for some sense of accomplishment or recognition – but as my mother reminded me, “someone out there is fighting for their education.”

 

Act with good intentions.

 

Think about it: if your intention is to gain further education for a better future, there will be less stress for you to review for exams unlike in situations where students really compete against each other for the top spots.

 

College education shouldn’t be an accessory for social status. It should be taken with concern for one’s country’ and intentions to contribute to the development of the society.

 

Having realized all this, I renewed my mindset of senior year. No longer do I see it as the frighteningly stressful year but one that’s filled with opportunities and lessons for me to find my path, the path where “my passion meets the needs of the world.”

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